My Life in CMC

The beginning of the year was in Nagore Dargah. Not a pleasant one. And I came to hostel on Jan 5th, and had a cut… I thought the buzz cut would be good and had all the confidence I need to go to the barber and get the cut. After the cut, It was pretty good ngl, but the real downfall happened from the next day, My acne full face + Buzz cut = chaos and decreased self-esteem.  I couldn't do anything that I intended to do for the new year, why ? I am sad constantly for no reason Why ? Furthermore, I can't even do a work that need an hour or less, and it's there for weeks now… Why ? What happens to me, I ask this ugly question to myself every year and every year go as same as boring and depressing.  Let's face it, I didn't quit chasing for cheap dopamine, I am still eating junk food, and I am not consistent for working out.  And I told about my sneaky little secret about asking out to Divya to hari Priya… btw when I think about it,  All this Divya, hari and all the ...

 This year was so long for me. New people , new experience, fearful experience, new adventures, gaining people , losing people, confessing to people .....phew !  But the one thing I wanna take from this year is that I was not upto my potentials. I can get the best physique if I train everyday. I can top the whole class if I study everyday. And mainly I can concentrate on my life if I quit all my distractions.  All the wonders are there and wall for those achievements is me and my mindset. The last month ( December ) was an shittest month of the year. I went to an unwanted so called try for another relationship and had to come out of it in a hard way. But I have learnt my lesson.  This new year, it's time to cut every single distraction I have. I know it's much and much harder then it sounds. But I am 19 next year and it's time to man up.  New plan for the new year  * Workout everyday  * Go on a adventure every Sunday  * Talk to everyone and make n...

 A shit ton of stuff happen around.  Firstly , the Christmas party , we ( cct ) prepared for two icu's and performed very delightful with same dance.  And there's a whole Avengers level of drama happen to my life with Divya .  I asked her out. Yeah, I got guts to ask out a girl for the first time in my life. I didn't even asked out qua, atleast not irl.  All this started by me having a little crush on her starting from I don't really know when.  And gradually that increased and one day I made Vishal to ask her about what will she do if I ( thameem ) have crush on her [ a classic one ] . She told him that she have no problem. That's my green signal. So the next day I made some stuff to be in MICU where she is posted. I asked her out in MICU saying I had a crush on her and what's her thoughts on it.  She replied "I really would have accepted your proposal if u have asked me out in the first year. But now....now I am not interested in loving anyone." And ...

My mind is foggy and focused at the same time now.  Firstly, we are getting started with second year by having ICU monitoring class, and it was really simple and not so professional as I thought it would, it just felt like one of those procedural classes we had in 1st year. To add more of that feeling the TV doesn't work and we (boys) had to do some lifting to fix, still we couldn't have it working.  In the late class, there was a talk (because of my cue) for the second year class, which ended with a more overwhelming decision ------> Me as a CR. I was given (or bombarded) with the post for this year, and I don't know what to do with this. I have to control myself and my decision not only for me now, but for my whole tribe.  My sprint training is going on it's time, but I think I am putting all my post dept time in Running, Running and only running… I have to prep a schedule and incorporate working out, running, and academics to have everything perfectly balanced. In...

 Dec 1 2024  tech is advancing so exponentially compared to me in school and college. People don't talk to one another in bus, don't discuss new idea and random thoughts to people nearby when they're bored. Instead, they scroll up shorts and reels and blame and call the people lame who does share their thoughts. But they're (everyone) is not to blame. In a generation of people adapting personality from fictional characters and influencers, I see everyone (including me) as a mindless victim.  I have had enough ass kicks from people and my own ideas on people and reality around me. This makes me thinks to redo everything once again.  A major reset of ideas, things I do, perspective of people I have, hobbies and every damn things.  I am already quite (like 10%) there….           * I am starting to work out and started sprint training, for which I went up to many people (random akka in oval who might be a coach, Pts and OT's in my hoste...

 I am writing this in the middle of a university exam preparation which is ofc going as shit as possible due to multiple variables, but that's not the context now  the thing is ….. Everything is going to be new in my life.  For starters, I am getting a NEW PHONE,  and a new room and new academic year with many possibilities. This is going to be fire if I utilize this proply   * NEW PHONE  so, I went to oval to check my running abilities and find a place to work out, ngl, that worked out great. But the only thing that got fucked is my phone. I dropped it in the sand and after all this year's. It got a screen issue. I told this to mom and dad (ofc). They surprisingly told to look for a new phone [inner peace]. I thought they won't get me a new phone, so I sent them chumma new okish phones.  But, mom called and was like, confirm ah, this phone ??? . I got shocked, I realized this is a real thing. So I took a moment and chosen CMF Phone (1). Pretty g...