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Where is "Me" ?

The beginning of the year was in Nagore Dargah. Not a pleasant one.
And I came to hostel on Jan 5th, and had a cut… I thought the buzz cut would be good and had all the confidence I need to go to the barber and get the cut.
After the cut, It was pretty good ngl, but the real downfall happened from the next day, My acne full face + Buzz cut = chaos and decreased self-esteem. 

I couldn't do anything that I intended to do for the new year, why ? I am sad constantly for no reason Why ? Furthermore, I can't even do a work that need an hour or less, and it's there for weeks now… Why ?

What happens to me, I ask this ugly question to myself every year and every year go as same as boring and depressing. 

Let's face it, I didn't quit chasing for cheap dopamine, I am still eating junk food, and I am not consistent for working out. 

And I told about my sneaky little secret about asking out to Divya to hari Priya… btw when I think about it, 

All this Divya, hari and all the girls, I feel like wrong for having crush over them ngl they're cute and adorable, but I don't have a future with em and I need to stop having jealousy over them.

This week for totally catastrophic, ugly and lazy… Nothing will change if nothing change. 

I really need to go find the lost 'Me'. The “Me” who will wake up at 4 and go workout and study post department and be disciplined for the whole day. 

It's funny how easy it is for me to go to that stage again. All I have to do is have a fucking face care routine, eat clean , workout in the morning, dont use mobile a lot and study everyday. that's all it takes.
funny how it was very easy back then. 

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