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It's time

 A shit ton of stuff happen around. 

Firstly , the Christmas party , we ( cct ) prepared for two icu's and performed very delightful with same dance. 

And there's a whole Avengers level of drama happen to my life with Divya . 

I asked her out. Yeah, I got guts to ask out a girl for the first time in my life. I didn't even asked out qua, atleast not irl. 

All this started by me having a little crush on her starting from I don't really know when. 

And gradually that increased and one day I made Vishal to ask her about what will she do if I ( thameem ) have crush on her [ a classic one ] . She told him that she have no problem. That's my green signal.

So the next day I made some stuff to be in MICU where she is posted. I asked her out in MICU saying I had a crush on her and what's her thoughts on it. 

She replied "I really would have accepted your proposal if u have asked me out in the first year. But now....now I am not interested in loving anyone."

And that's it. I shattered ( not literally) but it was kinda hard. So I continued existing.

The next day, we ( me and Divya ) were goin in bus and I took this topic about why she said no and why she's not interested in love. She said I can be so close to you but I am not interested in love. [ Quick note : The day before , she sent a reel about harry potter kinder Joy so I took it literally and bought 2 for her ].. in bus, she was saying all this close friends stuff and I kinda sunk into it. 

And Sicu program came, she told she have to go home earlier because her parents aren't home and his brothers alone. So she didn't even attend the dance and went. I trusted it.

Next day she told she's going out with jairus  for dinner ( the guy she called asshole and ghosted ). That night around , I saw jairus's snap showing he's in train to andra. I am confused to next level. Asked her about this....

She told the truth "the day before when she told she had to go home earlier, her father came home. So she went out with jairus to zufrita and went home around 10:30".... I mean, nice 🙂 

After that, I got clear about some stuff. Continuing this friend or lover mindset , telling and making  her poems and lines. 

Finally, she told some stuff and I accepted the reality that she ain't the one for me nor I am for her. 

So it's time to move on. 

What's now ? ----> My physique is kinda working good , and I came home for Christmas leave so bulking only.... 

From the year 2025. I got to focus on stuff that gives delayed gratification and no bs like this crush or girls ( everythings a time waste fr )

There's some serious changes I need by the end of 2025. They include major physical and mentality shift. 

Start running and workout in the morning, no instagram or porn ( little hard ) but it's necessary . Speaking of necessary, I am goin to nagore dargah with aji badima, this is to forget her and focus on my mental peace. And have a spiritual opening for this year.

I have to start to read Qur'an, maybe watch AOT, talk to more women (Break my comfort zone).

Let's compile and see what level I will reach at the end of the year.

Jacked up physique, no FAP for 1 year , completed English Qur'an, topper in class, no instagram or any social media , went to atleast 30 places in cycle. 


Let's see what 2025 is having to offer for me. I am ready to accept whatever it throws on me now. Even death 


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